The nerd test
This test will compute your nerd index. For those who qualify (and only those), it will generate a diploma that you can print put as proof of your nerdiness.
Your name:(Please type in your name as you want it to appear on your nerd diploma)
Below is a number of statements. For each statement, several different ways to complete the statement are listed. Please select the ending most appropriate for you. For some of the entries, you may find that none of the endings provided is an exact match. In those cases, please select the statement completion that in your opinion reflects the closest match. It is OK to leave an entry open if you feel that all the alternates provided are totally inappropriate, but please note that if you leave too many entries open the test may not score properly.
1. My gender is ... male
whatever turns you on
2. Where there is smoke, there is ... smoke
a health hazard
a defective circuit board
3. Home is is ... wherever I'm currently shacked up
where the heart is
where I keep my Radio Shack catalogues
a common way to refer to a website's topmost page
4. Never a dull ... knife
5. When I hear the word pi, I think of ... a private investigator
an Indian monetary unit equal to 1/192 of the rupee
a cake with baked crust and custard filling
an irrational number starting with the digits 3.14159265
6. Spam is ... a type of luncheon "meat" manufactured by Hormel
a health hazard
the theme of a Monty Phyton song
a good pretext for mailbombing someone
7. To avoid viruses one should ... keep away from people who sneeze
use a prophylactic
run a real operating system
never read email with the subject Good Times
8. For formal affairs I dress in ... a dark suit
a lavender dress
clean clothes
9. My glasses are ... Ray-Ban
held together with adhesives
10. My watch is ... a Rolex
a Chaumet
a Seiko
digital, with a calculator
11. My friends call me ... Tiger
for technical support
Mr. Spock
12. One of the first thing I ask new acquintances is where they ... work out
get their hair done
find the best soldering materials
hang out on irc
13. Maybe I should invite my friends over to watch ... the big game
my collection of 12th century Chinese pottery
Star Trek reruns
the person next door who never draws the curtains
14. My romantic interest would enjoy going with me to ... Bora-Bora
a chamber music concerto
the video-game arcade
Ehhh, what's a "romantic interest"?
15. My favourite dish is ... steak
whatever's in the freezer

16. My favourite drink is ... beer
Coca Cola
Jolt Cola
17. As a child I liked to play with ... cars
my chemistry set
my self
18. The man I admire most is ... Arnold Schwarzenegger
Dame Edna
Linus Torvalds
Bill Gates
19. The woman I admire most is ... Felicity Shagwell
Dame Edna
Marie Curie
Lara Croft
20. When I am awake at 4 a.m. it is because ... my date can't get enough of me
my date snores
it is too early to log off
it is Star Trek night on the late channel
21. The most expensive thing in my bathroom is ... an electric razor
a bottle of perfune
my mini hydroelectric power generator
a roll of toilet paper
22. Nothing builds your character like ... BASE jumping
finding & fixing memory leaks
a +4 coat of charisma
23. The present time is closest to (please check) ... ten a.m. (I was searching the web for something else when I stumbled over this page)
three p.m. (oh, my God -- Oprah is is on!)
five p.m. (just a quick surf before logging off)
04:00 a.m. (according to the readout on my digital watch)
24. My favourite language is ... French
25. My favourite sport is ... BASE jumping
making long walks in the forest
Go (no, this is not the same as the previous item)
Dungeons & Dragons
26. I'd like to teach the world ... a lesson
to sing
to leave me alone
27. On the TV, I always watch ... action sports
Star Trek reruns
the test image
28. My favourite reading material is ... Playboy
Scientific American
core dumps
29. I have a pet  ... Doberman
30. To hack is to  ... kick at a rugby opponent's shins
write bad prose for money
program skilfully and enthusiastically
break into computer systems for fun and profit
31. The 1st day of the 3rd millennium is January 1, ... 1999

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